Seventeen

I am seventeen. But I will only be seventeen for one more week. What to do... I feel almost desperate. I'm SEVENTEEN! daring! young! yet 'old'/'mature'... and soon i'll be 18, which means I have to take responsibility and become a useful member of society. cogs in a machine... yeah that's a shoutout to mr. mitchell. part of me is sad. i have never kissed a boy. like real not-my-brother boy. and i'm going to be eighteen- i need to take responsibility! i'm 17, it's ok if i've never kissed a boy. but when i'm 18, i have to become a useful member of society, probably reproduce, and usually you kiss a guy first. i have to take responsibility- what's wrong with me that i've never kissed a boy?! well i don't care now, but in a week i will care. I'll be legal- it seems somehow 'illegal'/ exciting to kiss a boy within the next week. and after that, well, i should have just done it sooner. bc i'll be 18. and have virgin lips. eighteen... can anybody tell me what it's like on the other side? I'm scared. Well it's late and the house is dark, that might be part of it. and it's that time of the month- that's always a good excuse.

actually, there are 2 times of the month. there's #1: i cut somebody off I'm going to cry now/ PMS time, then there's #2: WHY THE HELL WAS I BORN A GIRL!? THE NEXT TAMPON I SEE I'M GOING TO- that time of the month. combined they take up like half of the month. dang. i knew there was a reason why i'm pissy all the time!

I've had my guitar for exactly a month today. my fingers are nice and callousy. i'm going to find some more indigo girls tabs and learn something. actually their stuff is hard, i'll find some liz phair or something. i love women artists. even a bad girl cd is better than a mediocre guy cd. john says that's because i'm a lesbian, which i am not (although that would explain the aforementioned and as of yet unresolved virgin lips issue...) but i do love my indigo girls. and i love my guitar. i dropped my capo (clamy thing, used to change the key of the guitar) in my guitar today. i am so freaking clumsy when it comes to guitar stuff. But when I drop a pick in I can jiggle the guitar around until it comes out. not the same with a hunk of metal, rubber, and a spring! I almost had a hernia, luckily though my mom fished it out. phew. this is probably the most boring blog ever. well screw you, too. i'm going to bed. night. i'm sure there was something else i had to say... well i'll take it with me to the grave i guess. bye now.