[knoll conversation]
brooke: ... so after tennis i went back, and i went to shower. and i definitely walked in on my roommate and her boyfriend... like... having sex. so i got my stuff and BOLTED.
me: ewwww
brooke: i know! they are like... LEMMINGS!
me: they fall off the bed together?
brooke: no. they have sex, like, ALL THE TIME.
me: that's like... rabbits.
Although, after further thought, we concluded that, given the enormous mortality rate of lemmings, their reproduction must also be great... ergo: SEX.
And no, brooke's roommate and her boyfriend do NOT fall off the bed. they're just in the bed all the time. i thank my lucky stars kathleen is not like that (slutty, or awkward enough to fall off the bed...)
Sunday, January 30, 2005
a whole new world
ok kids. i don't party. and, until tonight, i had not gone to a party. i mean a real like college party. you know what i mean. tonight, though, was perfect... *edge of screen blurs*
I went to sam's first, for his wine and cheese party. i ate some grapes. we had [yolanda] with us, who is pretty small and is out after like two drinks (but she comes up with very original excuses, about how she's not a lightweight, she's just (fill in the blank)). Anyhow, she decided to "make her own wine". she put wine, vodka, cranberry juice, grapes, and a wine cork in a tupperware pitcher, shook it up, and proceeded to drink until only the cork was left. mmm. deeeelish.
but then the real fun started. we sang. [yolanda] played drunken piano and we sang "a whole new world", "beauty and the beast", "memory", some phantom of the opera stuff, "my favorite things", and i forget the rest of them. I was pulling for a "little mermaid" song... but no dice. sam's was the funnest. after that, we went to a party for music majors.
the music major parties are where you find the INCREDIBLE drunk piano players. it was amazing. except for the fact that i heard "the entertainer" seven times in a row. he tried to play other songs, but he couldn't remember them, would bang on the piano, drink some more, and start "the entertainer". At this party, though, only some of us had gone over, and given i was not macking on anyone (nor was anyone macking on me), I was the universal third wheel. We went home pretty quickly, but not before dissuading a girl from putting a huge palm leaf in the car. we told her it had salmonella on it. and we're all better off.
overall, though, the party scene is totally boring if you don't drink, or dance, or make out with people. which means that... i had fun when my friends were around, but otherwise it pretty much sucked. i now know what i am NOT missing.
And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep. (Kurt Vonnegut)
I went to sam's first, for his wine and cheese party. i ate some grapes. we had [yolanda] with us, who is pretty small and is out after like two drinks (but she comes up with very original excuses, about how she's not a lightweight, she's just (fill in the blank)). Anyhow, she decided to "make her own wine". she put wine, vodka, cranberry juice, grapes, and a wine cork in a tupperware pitcher, shook it up, and proceeded to drink until only the cork was left. mmm. deeeelish.
but then the real fun started. we sang. [yolanda] played drunken piano and we sang "a whole new world", "beauty and the beast", "memory", some phantom of the opera stuff, "my favorite things", and i forget the rest of them. I was pulling for a "little mermaid" song... but no dice. sam's was the funnest. after that, we went to a party for music majors.
the music major parties are where you find the INCREDIBLE drunk piano players. it was amazing. except for the fact that i heard "the entertainer" seven times in a row. he tried to play other songs, but he couldn't remember them, would bang on the piano, drink some more, and start "the entertainer". At this party, though, only some of us had gone over, and given i was not macking on anyone (nor was anyone macking on me), I was the universal third wheel. We went home pretty quickly, but not before dissuading a girl from putting a huge palm leaf in the car. we told her it had salmonella on it. and we're all better off.
overall, though, the party scene is totally boring if you don't drink, or dance, or make out with people. which means that... i had fun when my friends were around, but otherwise it pretty much sucked. i now know what i am NOT missing.
And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep. (Kurt Vonnegut)
Saturday, January 29, 2005
oh please
i'm not bored i'm just a sheep
choose a band/artist and answer only in song titles by that band: fiona apple
are you male or female: sullen girl
describe yourself: criminal
how do some people feel about you: slow like honey
how do you feel about yourself: love ridden
describe your ex gf/bf: limp
describe your current gf/bf: the way things are
describe where you want to be: the child is gone
describe what you want to be: sleep to dream
describe how you live: a mistake
describe how you love: pale september
share a few words of wisdom: never is a promise
*i chose most of these because of the lyrics, not the titles. but then again, her songs are pretty dismal. i tried to do indigo girls, but it was way too hard...
choose a band/artist and answer only in song titles by that band: fiona apple
are you male or female: sullen girl
describe yourself: criminal
how do some people feel about you: slow like honey
how do you feel about yourself: love ridden
describe your ex gf/bf: limp
describe your current gf/bf: the way things are
describe where you want to be: the child is gone
describe what you want to be: sleep to dream
describe how you live: a mistake
describe how you love: pale september
share a few words of wisdom: never is a promise
*i chose most of these because of the lyrics, not the titles. but then again, her songs are pretty dismal. i tried to do indigo girls, but it was way too hard...
Friday, January 28, 2005
a pretty petty
girls piss me off. sometimes i don't know how i live with myself. i mean, i already hog all the blankets...
i was going to get some dinner after a nice nap. so i was like, "ok friend of girl on my floor, come with us!" no. never again! the entire time she was like, "yeah so i liked this guy he's like sooooooo cute- of course he's gay!" teeheeheeheeheeheehee! or "yeah well he's a theatre guy... so i mean... of course he's gay!" teeheeheeheeheeheehee! or "well i was like, 'hmm... you dress well' i mean, i'm like 99% sure he's gay!" teeheeheehe- SHUT IT!
i was finally like, "don't you think it's a little petty to obsess over someone's sexual orientation right when you meet them? it seems really petty to me, i wouldn't want to be treated that way, if someone just obsessed over one aspect of me" Luckily, we were already back to the dorm.
I also hate her shoes.
i was going to get some dinner after a nice nap. so i was like, "ok friend of girl on my floor, come with us!" no. never again! the entire time she was like, "yeah so i liked this guy he's like sooooooo cute- of course he's gay!" teeheeheeheeheeheehee! or "yeah well he's a theatre guy... so i mean... of course he's gay!" teeheeheeheeheeheehee! or "well i was like, 'hmm... you dress well' i mean, i'm like 99% sure he's gay!" teeheeheehe- SHUT IT!
i was finally like, "don't you think it's a little petty to obsess over someone's sexual orientation right when you meet them? it seems really petty to me, i wouldn't want to be treated that way, if someone just obsessed over one aspect of me" Luckily, we were already back to the dorm.
I also hate her shoes.
of greater importance
CHICK ON CHICK IS NEXT THURSDAY!!!
Next Thursday, February 3rd
McAlister Field (across from Troy, half way between campus and the row. ask me for directions if you don't know where it is.)
7pm-9pm/when DPS kicks us off
The girls team plays the ghettobirds (guys team), who are wearing skirts and sportsbras with water balloon. Each water balloon popped means a point lost!
It's going to be great ultimate, even GREATER guys in skirts (some of whom look really good... hmm... pear shape?)
I'll find pictures to show you guys. WAR OUT!
Next Thursday, February 3rd
McAlister Field (across from Troy, half way between campus and the row. ask me for directions if you don't know where it is.)
7pm-9pm/when DPS kicks us off
The girls team plays the ghettobirds (guys team), who are wearing skirts and sportsbras with water balloon. Each water balloon popped means a point lost!
It's going to be great ultimate, even GREATER guys in skirts (some of whom look really good... hmm... pear shape?)
I'll find pictures to show you guys. WAR OUT!
of less importance
there was a (FREAKING HUGE!) cockroach in the bathroom last night when I went to take a shower after practice. It was perched inside the sink, to escape the faucet water. like anyone would be using that sink anyhow...
I screamed for a little while, then turned on the water in the furthest shower. A little bit later I heard the door open, someone walked in, turned on the shower. Then I heard the screaming.
hot DANG that roach moves fast!
I screamed for a little while, then turned on the water in the furthest shower. A little bit later I heard the door open, someone walked in, turned on the shower. Then I heard the screaming.
hot DANG that roach moves fast!
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
"3x5" (John Mayer)
I'm writing to you to
catch you up on the places I've been
You held this letter
probably got excited, but there's nothing else inside it
didn't have a camera by my side this time
hoping I would see the world through both my eyes
maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way with words
Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy's cliche
And strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky
are next to mountains anyway
Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world with both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way
but let me say
You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
no more 3x5's
Guess you had to be there
Guess you had to be with me
Today I finally overcame
tryin' to fit the world inside a picture frame
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to
lose my way but let me say
You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
no more 3x5's
just no more 3x5's
catch you up on the places I've been
You held this letter
probably got excited, but there's nothing else inside it
didn't have a camera by my side this time
hoping I would see the world through both my eyes
maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way with words
Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy's cliche
And strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky
are next to mountains anyway
Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world with both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way
but let me say
You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
no more 3x5's
Guess you had to be there
Guess you had to be with me
Today I finally overcame
tryin' to fit the world inside a picture frame
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to
lose my way but let me say
You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
no more 3x5's
just no more 3x5's
Monday, January 24, 2005
spoon smoothie
instead of telling you about the weekend, i'll let you HEAR it. oh, technology.
[watching die hard]
sam: "obviously, alan rickman forgot god's eleventh commandment: THOU SHALT NOT COVET BRUCE WILLIS' WIFE!!"
by the way, in die hard it's like bruce willis vs. german terrorists. there are also 2 black guys. anyhow. what the germans say is basically "nein" (no) or "schnell" (faster). most of saturday and sunday we were yelling "SCHNELL!!" at each other on the field. frisbee is a game of speed!!
[out at freebirds with rachey roo]
courtney: "what is horchata anyhow?"
sarah: "it's kind of like rice milk"
rachel: "milk the little ricies!! milky milky!!" (makes milking hand movements)
.
me: "i am so tired."
rachel: "I KNOW! I've been milking little ricies all day!"
[getting ready to go home]
brit: "well we have enough people that somebody is going to have to sit bitch" (the middle seat in the back)
david: "i don't mind, i kind of like bitch"
jenna: "I like BITCHES!!... and ho's!!" (drops it like it's hot)
weekend was a success. I think i played pretty well, although on sunday i felt really nauseous all day and didn't play too hard. it would be ironic if one of the few people who didn't drink was the only one to throw up... that is to be avoided at all costs.
[watching die hard]
sam: "obviously, alan rickman forgot god's eleventh commandment: THOU SHALT NOT COVET BRUCE WILLIS' WIFE!!"
by the way, in die hard it's like bruce willis vs. german terrorists. there are also 2 black guys. anyhow. what the germans say is basically "nein" (no) or "schnell" (faster). most of saturday and sunday we were yelling "SCHNELL!!" at each other on the field. frisbee is a game of speed!!
[out at freebirds with rachey roo]
courtney: "what is horchata anyhow?"
sarah: "it's kind of like rice milk"
rachel: "milk the little ricies!! milky milky!!" (makes milking hand movements)
.
me: "i am so tired."
rachel: "I KNOW! I've been milking little ricies all day!"
[getting ready to go home]
brit: "well we have enough people that somebody is going to have to sit bitch" (the middle seat in the back)
david: "i don't mind, i kind of like bitch"
jenna: "I like BITCHES!!... and ho's!!" (drops it like it's hot)
weekend was a success. I think i played pretty well, although on sunday i felt really nauseous all day and didn't play too hard. it would be ironic if one of the few people who didn't drink was the only one to throw up... that is to be avoided at all costs.
Friday, January 21, 2005
fallacy of composition
believing that what is good for the individual is good for a group of individuals, or the whole. who's your daddy now, econ? what what
[lindy + mom, who is having people over]
RVQueen55: ideas for dessert?
thesimplewinkle: dessert... hmm....
thesimplewinkle: the york cookies!! yum yum in my tum tum!
RVQueen55: aggghhhh, so much work!
thesimplewinkle: WORD
thesimplewinkle: greg is a good help with them
RVQueen55: and they will be gone so fast . . .
thesimplewinkle: that's true
RVQueen55: word?
thesimplewinkle: we've been over this before
thesimplewinkle: it's like, "i agree with you" or "that's true"
RVQueen55: sorry, my middle-aged memory lapse - oh yeah
thesimplewinkle: yep
thesimplewinkle: let's practice
RVQueen55: word?
thesimplewinkle: oh my gosh, those york cookies are SOOOO hard to make
RVQueen55: I know, but you're worth it
thesimplewinkle: no!!! you were supposed to say "word"
RVQueen55: word
thesimplewinkle: good good
RVQueen55: WORD
thesimplewinkle: BUT if i said something like, "i have so much class today!!"
thesimplewinkle: you could NOT say "word"
thesimplewinkle: "word" only works when you're in the same situation, or something like that
RVQueen55: okay
thesimplewinkle: me: "i wish i had time to sleep"
thesimplewinkle: maddy: "word"
RVQueen55: mom: WORD
thesimplewinkle: me: "wow i have so much work"
thesimplewinkle: thomas: "word" [thomas = brother]
thesimplewinkle: nono this would not work
RVQueen55: I am in the same situation!!!
thesimplewinkle: (the thomas example)
RVQueen55: word
the end is in sight.
[lindy + mom, who is having people over]
RVQueen55: ideas for dessert?
thesimplewinkle: dessert... hmm....
thesimplewinkle: the york cookies!! yum yum in my tum tum!
RVQueen55: aggghhhh, so much work!
thesimplewinkle: WORD
thesimplewinkle: greg is a good help with them
RVQueen55: and they will be gone so fast . . .
thesimplewinkle: that's true
RVQueen55: word?
thesimplewinkle: we've been over this before
thesimplewinkle: it's like, "i agree with you" or "that's true"
RVQueen55: sorry, my middle-aged memory lapse - oh yeah
thesimplewinkle: yep
thesimplewinkle: let's practice
RVQueen55: word?
thesimplewinkle: oh my gosh, those york cookies are SOOOO hard to make
RVQueen55: I know, but you're worth it
thesimplewinkle: no!!! you were supposed to say "word"
RVQueen55: word
thesimplewinkle: good good
RVQueen55: WORD
thesimplewinkle: BUT if i said something like, "i have so much class today!!"
thesimplewinkle: you could NOT say "word"
thesimplewinkle: "word" only works when you're in the same situation, or something like that
RVQueen55: okay
thesimplewinkle: me: "i wish i had time to sleep"
thesimplewinkle: maddy: "word"
RVQueen55: mom: WORD
thesimplewinkle: me: "wow i have so much work"
thesimplewinkle: thomas: "word" [thomas = brother]
thesimplewinkle: nono this would not work
RVQueen55: I am in the same situation!!!
thesimplewinkle: (the thomas example)
RVQueen55: word
the end is in sight.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
go ahead
make my day.
wolf twentythree: ?
Auto response from thesimplewinkle: a rabbi, and priest, and a minister walk into a bar. bartender says, "what is this-- some kind of joke?"
wolf twentythree: heheheheh
wolf twentythree: lol
wolf twentythree: because it is a joke...
wolf twentythree: in the joke...
wolf twentythree: its a joke...
wolf twentythree: ok...
wolf twentythree: I killed it
wolf twentythree: ?
Auto response from thesimplewinkle: a rabbi, and priest, and a minister walk into a bar. bartender says, "what is this-- some kind of joke?"
wolf twentythree: heheheheh
wolf twentythree: lol
wolf twentythree: because it is a joke...
wolf twentythree: in the joke...
wolf twentythree: its a joke...
wolf twentythree: ok...
wolf twentythree: I killed it
the gong jar
i can't concentrate.
one of my friends is drifting away, and i'm running away from another one. yet i know i should let the first one go because she doesn't belong to me and she's not becoming a crack whore or anything. and i know eventually i'll come whimpering back to the second one. and, yes, whimper is probably the correct word to use.
so here i am, trying to do econ. trying not to think about other things, namely the aforementioned friends...
We have a tournament this weekend, i'm really anxious. i think you should understand by now my inability to concentrate. and sleep... I'm going to bed at like 2 or 3 every morning and waking up by 8. and i can't go back to sleep after that without waking up every 10 minutes and looking at the clock. and sighing. and burying myself back into my blankets. what's the deal.
A rabbi, and priest, and a minister walk into a bar. bartender says, "what is this? some kind of joke?"
one of my friends is drifting away, and i'm running away from another one. yet i know i should let the first one go because she doesn't belong to me and she's not becoming a crack whore or anything. and i know eventually i'll come whimpering back to the second one. and, yes, whimper is probably the correct word to use.
so here i am, trying to do econ. trying not to think about other things, namely the aforementioned friends...
We have a tournament this weekend, i'm really anxious. i think you should understand by now my inability to concentrate. and sleep... I'm going to bed at like 2 or 3 every morning and waking up by 8. and i can't go back to sleep after that without waking up every 10 minutes and looking at the clock. and sighing. and burying myself back into my blankets. what's the deal.
A rabbi, and priest, and a minister walk into a bar. bartender says, "what is this? some kind of joke?"
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
"The View" (Modest Mouse)
Your gun went off
Well you shot off your mouth and look where it got you
My mouth runs on too
Shouts from both sides,
"Well we've got the land but they've got the view!"
Well now here's the clue
Life it rents us
And yeah I hope it put plenty on you
Well I hope mine did too
As life gets longer, awful feels softer
Well is feels pretty soft to me
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
then I feel pretty blissfully
Your gun went off
Well you shot off your mouth and look where it got you
My mouth runs on too
Shouts from both sides,
"Well we've got the land but they've got the view!"
Well now here's the clue
We are fixed right where we stand
Life is rents us
And yeah I hope it put plenty on you
Well I hope mine did too
We are fixed right where we are
As life gets longer, awful feels softer
Well it feels pretty soft to me
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully
For every invention made how much time did we save?
We're not much farther than we were in the cave
As life gets longer, awful feels softer
and it feels pretty soft to me
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully
If life's not beautiful without the pain
Well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer
And it feels pretty soft to me
For every good deed done there is a crime committed
We are fixed
For every step ahead we could have just been seated
We are fixed
As life gets longer, awful feels softer
Well it feels pretty soft to me
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully
We are fixed
We are fixed
We are fixed right where we stand
Well you shot off your mouth and look where it got you
My mouth runs on too
Shouts from both sides,
"Well we've got the land but they've got the view!"
Well now here's the clue
Life it rents us
And yeah I hope it put plenty on you
Well I hope mine did too
As life gets longer, awful feels softer
Well is feels pretty soft to me
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
then I feel pretty blissfully
Your gun went off
Well you shot off your mouth and look where it got you
My mouth runs on too
Shouts from both sides,
"Well we've got the land but they've got the view!"
Well now here's the clue
We are fixed right where we stand
Life is rents us
And yeah I hope it put plenty on you
Well I hope mine did too
We are fixed right where we are
As life gets longer, awful feels softer
Well it feels pretty soft to me
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully
For every invention made how much time did we save?
We're not much farther than we were in the cave
As life gets longer, awful feels softer
and it feels pretty soft to me
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully
If life's not beautiful without the pain
Well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer
And it feels pretty soft to me
For every good deed done there is a crime committed
We are fixed
For every step ahead we could have just been seated
We are fixed
As life gets longer, awful feels softer
Well it feels pretty soft to me
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully
We are fixed
We are fixed
We are fixed right where we stand
Monday, January 17, 2005
salvation
alright well talking to everybody i've been thinking a lot.
and then reading Uncle Tom's Cabin where there's this whole discussion about "well both sides think god is on their side" and i'm thinking, "hm maybe i'm over theologizing this..."
and i go to sanctuary, which is a sunday night service at mppc (menlo park presbyterian church) when i'm home. and when i'm here i watch the sermons online because they're really good, i think.
so this evening I watched charley's sermon on salvation. they were doing a series of talks on missing the point. which was fun, and smart. so he goes over the "salvation only means heaven after you die!" and being like, "that is so incomplete... and if that's what salvation is then what am i doing with this earthly life is all i have is a life after death?" (except he says it better) and being like, "what does it mean to be saved?" and i think if you're like, "i'm not sure what lindy's getting at" (hey i don't get it either) then watch it. it's like 35 minutes. go here and scroll down to November 21 (Charley Scandlyn, Salvation). you can click on the video camera to watch it on windows media player.
a note about charley: he is one of the people i most respect. like, up there is my dad, and my mom, and joe ryan who was my mentor for a while (and my small group leader's husband), and my small group leaders. but charley, he is just so smart! and he's not afraid to be like, "hey this is our problem." even, and especially, problems within the church. he even confronts some of them in the talk. my favorite was when in another talk he was like, "don't blame the church for your lack of growth in your relationship with god!" he really forces me to take an honest look at myself and stuff, and i really like this sermon. so do it if you want. or not.
and the blog posts may return to "normal" but maybe not. we'll see. rock it.
and then reading Uncle Tom's Cabin where there's this whole discussion about "well both sides think god is on their side" and i'm thinking, "hm maybe i'm over theologizing this..."
and i go to sanctuary, which is a sunday night service at mppc (menlo park presbyterian church) when i'm home. and when i'm here i watch the sermons online because they're really good, i think.
so this evening I watched charley's sermon on salvation. they were doing a series of talks on missing the point. which was fun, and smart. so he goes over the "salvation only means heaven after you die!" and being like, "that is so incomplete... and if that's what salvation is then what am i doing with this earthly life is all i have is a life after death?" (except he says it better) and being like, "what does it mean to be saved?" and i think if you're like, "i'm not sure what lindy's getting at" (hey i don't get it either) then watch it. it's like 35 minutes. go here and scroll down to November 21 (Charley Scandlyn, Salvation). you can click on the video camera to watch it on windows media player.
a note about charley: he is one of the people i most respect. like, up there is my dad, and my mom, and joe ryan who was my mentor for a while (and my small group leader's husband), and my small group leaders. but charley, he is just so smart! and he's not afraid to be like, "hey this is our problem." even, and especially, problems within the church. he even confronts some of them in the talk. my favorite was when in another talk he was like, "don't blame the church for your lack of growth in your relationship with god!" he really forces me to take an honest look at myself and stuff, and i really like this sermon. so do it if you want. or not.
and the blog posts may return to "normal" but maybe not. we'll see. rock it.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
i need words/ as white as sky
this weekend was a tournament in santa monica- soo much fun! I'm tired, beach play really takes it out of you. sprinting on sand... but i got some SWEET bids (diving for the frisbee). ok, so i was just practing throwing and didn't have any in the actual games. but all the same- I rock.
Most of the team partied last night, I was way too tired. but consequently, some didn't show up this morning because of their wasted states. One was our captain, ryan. His nickname is "chicken", but, i don't know, I prefer ryan. anyhow he didn't show up this morning so we call him.
"chicken are you coming today?"
"my tires got slashed last night" (he drives a black mustang)
"i'm so sorry!"
"yeah, well... these things happen..."
um, NO THEY DON'T. or rather, they don't outside the ghetto. At least we're now in the 'sc state of mind. fight on?
We later decided to bury ashley in sand. Not lying down, though, oh no. We're going to bury her in sand vertically. And not by digging a hole either, but by piling sand on her. It took... an hour? more? At least we're goal-oriented... we decided to bury her vertically and we came through! But now it's shower time. homework time? we'll see.
Most of the team partied last night, I was way too tired. but consequently, some didn't show up this morning because of their wasted states. One was our captain, ryan. His nickname is "chicken", but, i don't know, I prefer ryan. anyhow he didn't show up this morning so we call him.
"chicken are you coming today?"
"my tires got slashed last night" (he drives a black mustang)
"i'm so sorry!"
"yeah, well... these things happen..."
um, NO THEY DON'T. or rather, they don't outside the ghetto. At least we're now in the 'sc state of mind. fight on?
We later decided to bury ashley in sand. Not lying down, though, oh no. We're going to bury her in sand vertically. And not by digging a hole either, but by piling sand on her. It took... an hour? more? At least we're goal-oriented... we decided to bury her vertically and we came through! But now it's shower time. homework time? we'll see.
oh no you di-in't
I think this semester I will have to come to terms with how I feel about homosexuality. The PLETHORA of comments about joe/homosexuality from last post. This class about "love and politics"- i mean come on do they mix any more obviously than in gay marriage? plus this girl on my hall and her girlfriend (who is now a resident of our hall... simple because of spending the night every night) are in the class.
I want to live peacefully and not feel attacked. I give everyone else the benefit of the doubt. I de believe other people come to their beliefs rationally. Just because I view the world through the lens of a loving god does not mean that I am irrational. Or that I lack logic. I may lack the search for every truth about the world. I believe I have found the ultimate truth, and with is everything else falls in place, will fall in place, or god will help me pull it down into place.
without further ado. Because dialogue (polylogue) is really the best way...
I do believe homosexuality is a sin. More specifically, a perversion. Everyone is a sexual creature. Carly is sexual- in an open way. Sluts are sexual- in a slutty way. Nuns are sexual, but have given their sexuality to god. Everyone is sexual, and God created us that way. no getting around it. We all desire love in one way or another. But, because we live in a fallen world we're like, "ok i'll take god's creation and mess around with it" So we get compulsive liars who take truth and twist it. Some people are hateful and refuse god's love or the love of other people. And some people desire the (romantic) love of the same sex. Like being very "sexual" in the wordly sense- porn star, etc., homosexuality is a perversion of the sexuality god created in us. That's what I belive. that's what I think I belive. When I write it out like now, that's what makes sense.
Now, as regards some things we face:
Gay clergy: Yes. But, again, I don't think someone is born "gay"- they become that way. Somehow, to say "gay clergy" assumes that oh well they can't change it. They can. I permit gay clergy only if he or she acknowledges it is a sin. What if your church ordained a pastor and said, "well this is our new pedophile pastor so-and-so" assuming that "oh well that's how (s)he is. but hey, we welcome everyone" No. Saying "this is who I am" is saying, "God you can't change this about me, you can't touch this" Pedophilia is a perversion, too. I think pastors should be honest about their struggles (especially in the pedophilia circumstance- but that's a whole different post), they need a loving community, too, to help them. I would not feel comfortable hearing about God from someone who so blatantly acknowledges and accepts a thorn in their side. They preach the finer points of some theological concept...
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (Matthew 7)
I mean, I do thank God that I don't struggle with the temptation to obtain love from the same sex. It's a hard struggle, and the people that struggle with this are often ostracized. But all the same, it is a struggle, and one that- with the help of God- people can overcome. Clergy can be homosexual, but only if they acknowledge their sin.
Gay marriage: No. I would not feel comfortable in a church that condoned this or held gay marriage ceremonies. What is marriage? The spiritual and physical joining of two people (man and woman!). God creates our sexuality, he creates in us the desire for love, companionship, and sex, so that he can fulfill it!!! In the end, only the love of God can satisfy us, but for the time being, in marriage the other sex can try to satisfy. It can certainly satisfy the sexual desires. God created woman for man, man for woman. I mean just look at the bodies! God didn't say, "oh hey, way to go me- didn't know they'd fit like that!" No. He knew.
What is more enraging to me, though, is that a church might condone this. Like ordaining the minister who chooses to ignore his sin, condoning this man-man, or woman-woman relationship in god's sanctuary is truly blasphemous. In the ceremony, you pray for the relationship, for the marriage. What is the use of praying for something God knows is a perversion and not what he intended? It's spitting in God's face! It's like, "well... you created us... but I like us better this way, ok? So thanks for the raw material, I'll take it from here" no. Marriage is a gift from God, and as such it is holy. Gay marriage, in one sense, is a contradiction of terms. And I do not support it.
I'm not sure, though, how I feel about legal gay marriage. Like, tax benefits, that sort of thing. I don't know enough about it.
Now. To what really matters: the people. I can argue about sin all I want, but what matters is the sinners. Which, if you weren't aware, is all of us. So you've probably all heard, "Love the sinner hate the sin" which is truly what we should aspire to. But to get there let's take a little detour. Jesus says to "love your neighbor as you love yourself". Allow me to quote c.s. lewis (big time) in his discussion of this:
[this is in a chapter about forgiveness] ... And secondly, we might try to understand exactly when loving your neighbour as yourself means. I have to love him as I love myself. Well, how exactly do I love myself?
Now that I come to think of it, I have not exactly got a feeling of fondness or affection for myself, and I do not even always enjoy my own society. So apparently, 'Love your neighbour' does not mean 'feel fond of him' or 'find him attractive'. I ought to have seen that before, because, of course, you cannot feel fond of a person by trying. Do I think well of myself, think myself a nice chap? Well, I am afraid I sometimes do (and those are, no doubt, my worst moments) but that is not why I love myself. In fact it is the other way round: my self-love makes me think myself nice, but thinking myself nice is not why I love myself. So loving enemies does not apparently mean thinking them nice either. That is an enormous relief. For a good many people imagine that forgiving your enemies means making out that they are really not such bad fellows after all, when it is quite plain that they are. [sic: condoning homosexuality either by ordaining or a marriage ceremony! Also, because this is about forgiveness, he refers to 'enemies'. But what I want to point out is how to love people that you know have done wrong. Anyhow, onward and upward!] Go a step further. In my most clear-sighted moments not only do I not think of myself a nice man, but I know that I am a very nasty one. I can look at some things I have done with horror and loathing. So apparently I am allowed to loathe and hate some of the things my enemies do. Now that I come to think of it, I remember Christian teachers telling me long ago that I must hate a bad man's actions, but not hate the bad man: or they would say, hate the sin but not the sinner. [sic: aha!]
For a long time I used to think this a silly, straw-splitting distinction: how could you hate what a man did and not hate the man? But years later it occured to me that there was one man to whome I had been doing this all my life- namely myself. However much I might dislike my own cowardice or conceit or greed, I went on loving myself. There had never been the slightest difficulty about it. In fact the very reason why I hated the things was that I loved the man. Just because I loved myself, I was sorry to find that I was the sort of man who did those things... hate [sin, bad things] in the same way in which we hate things in ourselves: being sorry that the man should have done such things, and hoping, if it is anyway possible, that somehow, sometime, somewhere he can be cured and made human again.
Does all of that make sense? I hope so, because I'm not going to explain it again. Lewis is a smart guy, and a clear one, too. Anyhow, I used to have really jacked view of homosexuality. I'll admit it, I was totally homophobic. but it was in talking with my brother (who is like- maybe i'm christian maybe i'm not- whatever) who was like, "how is it different from any other sin, you hater?" which made me realize how wrong I'd been. So yeah. Post if you want. I hope I don't piss anyone off, but this is what I logically and rationally believe. And I figure before I go any further I should fine tune this. Make sure I'm secure in my faith. I also want my blog to be more faith oriented. I find myself more interesting when I'm talking about God as opposed to when I'm talking about, say, boys.
With apprehension, but not really, I press "publish post".
I want to live peacefully and not feel attacked. I give everyone else the benefit of the doubt. I de believe other people come to their beliefs rationally. Just because I view the world through the lens of a loving god does not mean that I am irrational. Or that I lack logic. I may lack the search for every truth about the world. I believe I have found the ultimate truth, and with is everything else falls in place, will fall in place, or god will help me pull it down into place.
without further ado. Because dialogue (polylogue) is really the best way...
I do believe homosexuality is a sin. More specifically, a perversion. Everyone is a sexual creature. Carly is sexual- in an open way. Sluts are sexual- in a slutty way. Nuns are sexual, but have given their sexuality to god. Everyone is sexual, and God created us that way. no getting around it. We all desire love in one way or another. But, because we live in a fallen world we're like, "ok i'll take god's creation and mess around with it" So we get compulsive liars who take truth and twist it. Some people are hateful and refuse god's love or the love of other people. And some people desire the (romantic) love of the same sex. Like being very "sexual" in the wordly sense- porn star, etc., homosexuality is a perversion of the sexuality god created in us. That's what I belive. that's what I think I belive. When I write it out like now, that's what makes sense.
Now, as regards some things we face:
Gay clergy: Yes. But, again, I don't think someone is born "gay"- they become that way. Somehow, to say "gay clergy" assumes that oh well they can't change it. They can. I permit gay clergy only if he or she acknowledges it is a sin. What if your church ordained a pastor and said, "well this is our new pedophile pastor so-and-so" assuming that "oh well that's how (s)he is. but hey, we welcome everyone" No. Saying "this is who I am" is saying, "God you can't change this about me, you can't touch this" Pedophilia is a perversion, too. I think pastors should be honest about their struggles (especially in the pedophilia circumstance- but that's a whole different post), they need a loving community, too, to help them. I would not feel comfortable hearing about God from someone who so blatantly acknowledges and accepts a thorn in their side. They preach the finer points of some theological concept...
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (Matthew 7)
I mean, I do thank God that I don't struggle with the temptation to obtain love from the same sex. It's a hard struggle, and the people that struggle with this are often ostracized. But all the same, it is a struggle, and one that- with the help of God- people can overcome. Clergy can be homosexual, but only if they acknowledge their sin.
Gay marriage: No. I would not feel comfortable in a church that condoned this or held gay marriage ceremonies. What is marriage? The spiritual and physical joining of two people (man and woman!). God creates our sexuality, he creates in us the desire for love, companionship, and sex, so that he can fulfill it!!! In the end, only the love of God can satisfy us, but for the time being, in marriage the other sex can try to satisfy. It can certainly satisfy the sexual desires. God created woman for man, man for woman. I mean just look at the bodies! God didn't say, "oh hey, way to go me- didn't know they'd fit like that!" No. He knew.
What is more enraging to me, though, is that a church might condone this. Like ordaining the minister who chooses to ignore his sin, condoning this man-man, or woman-woman relationship in god's sanctuary is truly blasphemous. In the ceremony, you pray for the relationship, for the marriage. What is the use of praying for something God knows is a perversion and not what he intended? It's spitting in God's face! It's like, "well... you created us... but I like us better this way, ok? So thanks for the raw material, I'll take it from here" no. Marriage is a gift from God, and as such it is holy. Gay marriage, in one sense, is a contradiction of terms. And I do not support it.
I'm not sure, though, how I feel about legal gay marriage. Like, tax benefits, that sort of thing. I don't know enough about it.
Now. To what really matters: the people. I can argue about sin all I want, but what matters is the sinners. Which, if you weren't aware, is all of us. So you've probably all heard, "Love the sinner hate the sin" which is truly what we should aspire to. But to get there let's take a little detour. Jesus says to "love your neighbor as you love yourself". Allow me to quote c.s. lewis (big time) in his discussion of this:
[this is in a chapter about forgiveness] ... And secondly, we might try to understand exactly when loving your neighbour as yourself means. I have to love him as I love myself. Well, how exactly do I love myself?
Now that I come to think of it, I have not exactly got a feeling of fondness or affection for myself, and I do not even always enjoy my own society. So apparently, 'Love your neighbour' does not mean 'feel fond of him' or 'find him attractive'. I ought to have seen that before, because, of course, you cannot feel fond of a person by trying. Do I think well of myself, think myself a nice chap? Well, I am afraid I sometimes do (and those are, no doubt, my worst moments) but that is not why I love myself. In fact it is the other way round: my self-love makes me think myself nice, but thinking myself nice is not why I love myself. So loving enemies does not apparently mean thinking them nice either. That is an enormous relief. For a good many people imagine that forgiving your enemies means making out that they are really not such bad fellows after all, when it is quite plain that they are. [sic: condoning homosexuality either by ordaining or a marriage ceremony! Also, because this is about forgiveness, he refers to 'enemies'. But what I want to point out is how to love people that you know have done wrong. Anyhow, onward and upward!] Go a step further. In my most clear-sighted moments not only do I not think of myself a nice man, but I know that I am a very nasty one. I can look at some things I have done with horror and loathing. So apparently I am allowed to loathe and hate some of the things my enemies do. Now that I come to think of it, I remember Christian teachers telling me long ago that I must hate a bad man's actions, but not hate the bad man: or they would say, hate the sin but not the sinner. [sic: aha!]
For a long time I used to think this a silly, straw-splitting distinction: how could you hate what a man did and not hate the man? But years later it occured to me that there was one man to whome I had been doing this all my life- namely myself. However much I might dislike my own cowardice or conceit or greed, I went on loving myself. There had never been the slightest difficulty about it. In fact the very reason why I hated the things was that I loved the man. Just because I loved myself, I was sorry to find that I was the sort of man who did those things... hate [sin, bad things] in the same way in which we hate things in ourselves: being sorry that the man should have done such things, and hoping, if it is anyway possible, that somehow, sometime, somewhere he can be cured and made human again.
Does all of that make sense? I hope so, because I'm not going to explain it again. Lewis is a smart guy, and a clear one, too. Anyhow, I used to have really jacked view of homosexuality. I'll admit it, I was totally homophobic. but it was in talking with my brother (who is like- maybe i'm christian maybe i'm not- whatever) who was like, "how is it different from any other sin, you hater?" which made me realize how wrong I'd been. So yeah. Post if you want. I hope I don't piss anyone off, but this is what I logically and rationally believe. And I figure before I go any further I should fine tune this. Make sure I'm secure in my faith. I also want my blog to be more faith oriented. I find myself more interesting when I'm talking about God as opposed to when I'm talking about, say, boys.
With apprehension, but not really, I press "publish post".
Saturday, January 15, 2005
joe's twin is like... whoa
no. seriously. when you've known someone for five months and then you meet his twin... it was crazy. they were all smoking hookah in the courtyard and i was like, "whoa" the entire time/ I didn't want to be like "stare at david... stare at joe... back to david" because that would be awkward. but all the same.
Joe + Longer Hair + Skater Clothes + Not Gay = David
I took a "what disney princess are you?" quiz online- PRINCESS ARIEL, BITCHES!! ye-ah! that's awesome.
I'm going to santa monica tomorrow for ultimate. today when we were throwing on the quad and brit (captain) was like, "hey practice throwing in the cup" and i was like, *SWOON*! Because to be a handler would be wonderful. I wouldn't have to run as much... I'd get more chicks... not have to run as much...
yeah so basically life would rock. and roll. Much like having a twin. Carly would be the evil one, i'm the good one. I wish my blog posts made sense.
Joe + Longer Hair + Skater Clothes + Not Gay = David
I took a "what disney princess are you?" quiz online- PRINCESS ARIEL, BITCHES!! ye-ah! that's awesome.
I'm going to santa monica tomorrow for ultimate. today when we were throwing on the quad and brit (captain) was like, "hey practice throwing in the cup" and i was like, *SWOON*! Because to be a handler would be wonderful. I wouldn't have to run as much... I'd get more chicks... not have to run as much...
yeah so basically life would rock. and roll. Much like having a twin. Carly would be the evil one, i'm the good one. I wish my blog posts made sense.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
go to
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Extreme |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Very High |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Very Low |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Low |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Very Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very Low |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Low |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Low |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Very Low |
Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test
Monday, January 10, 2005
back to school...
...back to school. to prove to dad i'm not a fool. got my lunch in a box, my shoes tied tight. i hope i don't get in a fight.
yeah i'm at school. it's raining. evk is all nice-ified (EXCEPT FOR THE FOOD PART!). I agree with maddy: work on the quality (or lack thereof) of the food instead of the quality of the drink despensers. and oh, by the way, the new mahogany/tacky things they put up for the drink dispensers go down too far- i can't see which drink button i'm pressing on. wonderful, kids, just wonderful... *sigh* *i hate evk...*
Classes start for me at 8 pm tonight- i have a whole rainy day to waste! yeah! gym.
yeah i'm at school. it's raining. evk is all nice-ified (EXCEPT FOR THE FOOD PART!). I agree with maddy: work on the quality (or lack thereof) of the food instead of the quality of the drink despensers. and oh, by the way, the new mahogany/tacky things they put up for the drink dispensers go down too far- i can't see which drink button i'm pressing on. wonderful, kids, just wonderful... *sigh* *i hate evk...*
Classes start for me at 8 pm tonight- i have a whole rainy day to waste! yeah! gym.
Friday, January 07, 2005
medea
i want to post. BUT...
...my ramblings are boring.
...nothing ever happens in my life.
what comes to mind now: i have a stomach ache. i'm going back to school tomorrow and i hope the 5 isn't closed or we have to take 101 the entire way down. while scenic, it is long and tedious. why isn't joe online. why aren't i asleep, we're leaving at 6 am tomorrow! random, useless thoughts. keep on rockin in the free world.
and for those of you who haven't read medea (play by euripides)- do it. you'll thank me later (when you recover).
...my ramblings are boring.
...nothing ever happens in my life.
what comes to mind now: i have a stomach ache. i'm going back to school tomorrow and i hope the 5 isn't closed or we have to take 101 the entire way down. while scenic, it is long and tedious. why isn't joe online. why aren't i asleep, we're leaving at 6 am tomorrow! random, useless thoughts. keep on rockin in the free world.
and for those of you who haven't read medea (play by euripides)- do it. you'll thank me later (when you recover).
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
that's all they really want
i watched "girls just want to have fun" this evening. cinema at its finest! no. really. I feel however, that the character of Mr. Sands is not fully developed. We do not notice his move to autonomy, out from under the rule of his daughter Natalie. He is suddenly able to ask Natalie to "shut up!" when Janey and Jeff win the dance show. He is such a deep, multi-faceted character. A self made man, yet ruled by something he himself created... such is life...
dang i should be a cinema major. Actually, I'm thinking of Economics and Gender Studies. Not because of where they interconnect, but because they are both FASCINATING. John is like, "you are a lesbian if you major in gender studies" I respond: I do not have to be romantically involved with my sex/gender (oh yes there is a difference!) in order to study it. Anyhow. I was like, "what i want is theology. Yeah apologetics can be learned through experience in being a christian minority. Or i can just realize I'll learn it anyhow in seminary..." So I won't study religion now. Maybe a class or two now. Except if I go Econ/GS, I'll probably have to do summer school. bummer... anyhow, school plans are for me, and they're totally boring to you.
school plans: USC WON THE ORANGE BOWL!! alright!!! i was content, there were plenty of song girl shots... swoon... they even had special sweaters! I will be a song girl. I will figure it out.
dang i should be a cinema major. Actually, I'm thinking of Economics and Gender Studies. Not because of where they interconnect, but because they are both FASCINATING. John is like, "you are a lesbian if you major in gender studies" I respond: I do not have to be romantically involved with my sex/gender (oh yes there is a difference!) in order to study it. Anyhow. I was like, "what i want is theology. Yeah apologetics can be learned through experience in being a christian minority. Or i can just realize I'll learn it anyhow in seminary..." So I won't study religion now. Maybe a class or two now. Except if I go Econ/GS, I'll probably have to do summer school. bummer... anyhow, school plans are for me, and they're totally boring to you.
school plans: USC WON THE ORANGE BOWL!! alright!!! i was content, there were plenty of song girl shots... swoon... they even had special sweaters! I will be a song girl. I will figure it out.
Monday, January 03, 2005
house broken
right when i get used to being home- i have to go back to school. it was wierd at first to be home. so i hung out w/ friends from high school. i was going cold turkey! but now some friends are going back... and i like being home... and i have to go back in five days. damn.
I'm listening to "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" (james joyce) on tape. it's one of the books i have to read next semester... and i got the feeling it was one i somehow wouldn't get around to reading. i even had the plan of listening to all my books of next semester on tape. wow i am a huge and total dork. yee-haw!!
I decided to make cookies today. I actually decided to a few days ago, and today i actually made them. i'm a slow creature... so yeah, my baking is horrible. first off, the mixer and i are at odds. i think i put too much flour in, and when i turned on the mixer, flour went everywhere! baaad... but my favorite, is when i was breaking an egg on the side of a bowl, but i turned my head away to tell my little brother something, and when i looked back, i'd cracked the egg... but not in the bowl. instead it was running down the side, along the counter, and down some drawers. that was fun to clean up! but i'm waiting for the dough to get hard, then i can cook some more! adventure in greasing the pan! the species lindus loisus is not yet domesticated. back into the wild with her!
they (church people) asked me to MC (emcee?) breakaway on wednesday night. but i was like, "that is intimidating". A lot of things are intimidating to me now. why have i become such a wimp? i'm even afraid of this girl on my hall who is super-christian. and it's not like, "saved!" super-christian, i mean she is really sincere and balanced about it. joe was like, "i don't intimidate you, do i?" no, you don't. i'm even friends with the girl on my hall and she intimidates me! joe says i need more christian friends. that is to say... I know i need more christian friends and joe tells me so because he knows i need to hear it from someone else. i was like, "girl on hall!" but dang she is so gungho and i'm so jacked and bad. how could they ask me to emcee? oh well. i think my cookie dough is almost hard (has it been an hour?)
I'm listening to "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" (james joyce) on tape. it's one of the books i have to read next semester... and i got the feeling it was one i somehow wouldn't get around to reading. i even had the plan of listening to all my books of next semester on tape. wow i am a huge and total dork. yee-haw!!
I decided to make cookies today. I actually decided to a few days ago, and today i actually made them. i'm a slow creature... so yeah, my baking is horrible. first off, the mixer and i are at odds. i think i put too much flour in, and when i turned on the mixer, flour went everywhere! baaad... but my favorite, is when i was breaking an egg on the side of a bowl, but i turned my head away to tell my little brother something, and when i looked back, i'd cracked the egg... but not in the bowl. instead it was running down the side, along the counter, and down some drawers. that was fun to clean up! but i'm waiting for the dough to get hard, then i can cook some more! adventure in greasing the pan! the species lindus loisus is not yet domesticated. back into the wild with her!
they (church people) asked me to MC (emcee?) breakaway on wednesday night. but i was like, "that is intimidating". A lot of things are intimidating to me now. why have i become such a wimp? i'm even afraid of this girl on my hall who is super-christian. and it's not like, "saved!" super-christian, i mean she is really sincere and balanced about it. joe was like, "i don't intimidate you, do i?" no, you don't. i'm even friends with the girl on my hall and she intimidates me! joe says i need more christian friends. that is to say... I know i need more christian friends and joe tells me so because he knows i need to hear it from someone else. i was like, "girl on hall!" but dang she is so gungho and i'm so jacked and bad. how could they ask me to emcee? oh well. i think my cookie dough is almost hard (has it been an hour?)
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