foosa

wildhorse:

first off, it was a young life camp in oregon that our church used for its high school camp. it wasn't for ultimate, though i did play ultimate there. so no, kate, i didn't see scouter.

and speaking of ultimate... i'm thinking of taking this next semester off. i need a christian community. and ultimate practices when crusade, etc. etc. meet. it's not as if i can't have both a straong christian community and ultimate- it's just that they take the same time slots. finding that community needs to be my priority. don't get me wrong- i love my team. and i love my friends. i love hanging out with them and don't think i'm "wasting my time" or something like that. but i do think i'm settling for less than what I truly want. being with mppc this past week- i really thrived. everyone i met was genuine, and of my same faith. I don't realize how important that is to me until I get back to my mppc community.

that was one of my decisions i made at camp. christian community= priority. and somehow, i gotta find a ride to bel-air. I WILL DO IT. AND GOD WILL HELP ME.


oh yeah, and speaking of God... if you haven't noticed, i'm anxious a lot about the future and what i'm going to major in/do/whatever. then eventually i remember that God has a plan for me and i can rest in that. but let's be honest here- i'm still anxious. and i don't think that'll stop. i'm too preoccupied with finding the PERFECT major for me and the PERFECT fit for a job, etc. etc. i even look for the PERFECT pants when i go shopping- which explains why i have none currently.

looking for the absolute best burns me out, and i question if "perfect" things really exist. doesn't god even annoy me some times? if i'm not perfect, I don't expect other things to be. so i may put myself on some endless search for what doesn't exist.

a while back charley gave a talk at sanctuary, and one of the things he said was this: Hebrew "good" is better than Greek "perfect"

that is to say, when god created the world and said it was "good", that's better than when paul, in the new testament, explains a "perfect" christian community. good is defined, at least here, as in tune with God. what god wants. lots of things i can do now are good. brush my teeth and go to bed, read, journal, whatever. i think as long as God can bless it, it's good. that's my rule of thumb.

but "perfect"- it's making different degrees of 'good'. so- right now- should i brush my teeth? read? journal? my life is like that- but on a bigger scale. and i worry about which will satisfy me most- and doesn't god have a preference? shouldn't his 'plan' include everything?

so, of course, i just freak out and am anxious all over again. i don't see that all my paths can be "good" and maybe there isn't a "perfect" one. so now i have that figured out- how do i apply it practically?

*shazam* stop worrying!

no. it can't work that way. i don't know how i'm going to apply what i'm figuring out. this truth should make me stop being so anxious about the future. in the end, as long as i can do good, whatever i do can be made 'perfect' in God, so i shouldn't worry. yeah, circular reasoning. oh well it's past my bed time anyhow.




Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21