sexual healing

preface: on tuesday, before my core 104 class, my TA overhears a conversation i'm having with jenn (my bfu- best friend usually), in which i said, "that's SO pimp!". we ensue in a discussion of the changing images of 'pimp', etc. etc.)

ok. now for the actual story: today i wasn't feeling very well. and I definitely don't want to be sick for kansas this weekend, so email her:

hey Liz-

I'm not feeling very good today. maybe i'm getting mine for saying "pimp" too much... anyhow, I most likely won't be in class today. hopefully i'll be in discussion tomorrow. Have fun in class!

-lindy

at 1:42 p.m. i receive the following reply:

Hey Lindy-

Thanks for letting me know. Take care and no pimping for you tonight. Email me if you're not going to be in section tomorrow.

Best,
Liz


best. flippin. TA. ever.

i. am. a. nerd.

so maddy puts on her lj, "Ask me three questions. Any three questions you want. I will answer them honestly. Then put this in your journal." and, like any self-respecting and conscientious human and dork, I decide it's high time to administer the Voight-Kampff Test.

with a heavy heart, i now report to you- she is in fact a replicant. and that's sort of a bummer, but we can still be friends. although... now that i've exploited that, i guess it's my turn. so, without further ado:

Ask me three questions. Any three questions you want. I will answer them honestly. Then put this in your journal.

the scene was a small roadside cafe

[door opens, with telltale bell ringing. woman approaches the receptionist]
"Hi... I'd like to, um, check myself in."
"Alright, here, fill out this and I'll need a copy of your insurance card."
"Alright."
"And how long do you plan to be staying with us?"
"How long does it take to be cured?"

[cut to doctor's office. woman sits on examination table swinging her legs anxiously. finally the door opens]
"Hello, Ms. Ligget."
"It's with two t's."
"Oh, I'm so sorry." (doesn't make a note of it on his clipboard, the bastard) "Well, you know why you're here. But could you explain it to me a little more in detail?"

[cut to maddy's room. milanos and dirty laundry are strewn everywhere. a worn beanbag lies in front of the refrigerator. camera pans across to forgotten desk with lonely books, then zooms in on: Felicity Sophomore Year DVD Collection. fade out.]

[doctor's office]
"So that's when I realized we had to stop! I had to get help."
"Yes. I see."
"Just like Greg got help for his cocaine addiction! Or Sean made Julie go see a counselor! Or Noel finally decided to talk to Ben about Ruby's pregnancy! Or, or-"
"PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WOMAN!"
"I'm- i'm sorry!" (woman breaks down into tears) "It's just... we're up to 6 hours a day now! It's too much for me to handle! All during class, all I can think is, 'Are they watching now? Are they watching without me?' or, 'Is Greg good for Felicity? Will Ben finally profess his undying love to her?' And, doctor, it just eats me alive!!! Cure me, please! I just don't know what to do..." (they sit for a while in silence)
"You know, I always wanted Felicity to end up with Noel. I mean, he's a sweet guy. Look how much Ben always overreacts! Sure, he's the hotter one... but seriously, Noel all the way." (they sit in silence for a while, the doctor waiting for a response)
"Word."
"To your mother."
"And Greg- I don't think he's that bad! When Ben found out about his cocaine addiction, Greg confronted Felicity about it! He was ashamed, but he wouldn't keep it a secret from her! I think he really cares about her. Plus he isn't always trying to get in her pants like David was!"
"Wow- that's true. But Greg keeps on making immature mistakes, like hiring her over the other work-study student. And Felicity has to keep calling him on these things. She deserves someone much better!"
"Yeah, I can see how you think that..."
"And Sean!"
"When will he ever tell Julie how he feels about her!!"
"Right after she stops hooking up with random guys."
"Touche."



and that's about how this week has been.

"Give Me One Reason" (Tracy Chapman)

Give me one reason to stay here and I'll turn right back around
Give me one reason to stay here and I'll turn right back around
Because I don't want to leave you lonely
But you got to make me change my mind

Baby I got your number and I know that you got mine
But you know that I called you, I called too many times
You can call me baby, you can call me anytime
But you got to call me

Give me one reason to stay here and I'll turn right back around
Give me one reason to stay here and I'll turn right back around
Because I don't want to leave you lonely
But you got to make me change my mind

I don't want no one to squeeze me, they might take away my life
I don't want no one to squeeze me, they might take away my life
I just want someone to hold me
And rock me through the night

This youthful heart can love you and give you what you need
This youthful heart can love you and give you what you need
But I'm too old to go chasing you around
Wasting my precious energy

Give me one reason to stay here and I'll turn right back around
Give me one reason to stay here and I'll turn right back around
Because I don't want to leave you lonely
But you got to make me change my mind

Baby just give me one reason, give me just one reason why
Baby just give me one reason, give me just one reason why I should stay
Because I told you that I loved you
And there ain't no more to say

cabaret

what if i took a year off next year... or maybe the next two years... or maybe after sophomore year... and went to foothill. and worked in student ministries (probably volunteer, whatever). and finally figured out what i want to do. i mean, i still like religion (as a major). I like econ. my mom wants me to do engineering, or business. or something. and when i'm chairwoman of the federal reserve i'll need lots of degrees anyhow. and i DO love usc! and i AM happy there... but i like an occasional break. a recess. intermission, if you will.

just thinkin'. ponderin'. entertainin' ideas.

becomes her

i'm a horrible person. seriously. why are you even reading my blog? today i went over to maddy's house three separate times, and made fun of her extensively. chipmunk cheek... chubbins... bloated cheek... this poor girl had her wisdom teeth taken out- AND I PLAN TO EXPLOIT THAT TO THE FULLEST!

i'm sorry, maddy, you know i love you. what can i say? i mean, i've always had a thing for girls with disproportionately large right cheeks. and really, who can blame me? you're hot. and i'm cruel. so deal.

in other news, i went to the dentist today. my brushing is good, but i need to floss more. i still go to the kids dentist. so i got a shiny bracelet for my time there. I also get to watch a movie while they torture me. the nurse brought me into a room with the videos... and it was a hard decision: spongebob or emporer's new groove? I finally went with the latter, at which time the nurse was like, "are you sure?" and drew my attention to the eye-level shelf with other movies: 13 going on 30, dumb and dumber, pieces of april.

psh. as if! get a clue, nurse lady. i can brush my own teeth and pick my own movie! i can also go to bed at 11 pm, because i am MASTER OF MY OWN FATE!

clementines and lil smokies

today was a wonderful day- I went to Monterey! hooray! we (me, john, cousin elizabeth) drove in my mom's convertible and it was a beautiful day! blah blah blah pretty car ride. blah blah blah aquarium and awesome otter paraphenelia blah blah. what REALLY matters are the two breathtaking puns!

pun #1: john and i are at the beach throwing a frisbee. and behind john are a couple on a blanket snuggly-kissy-not-quite-making-out. and so, like any bitter person who isn't getting any herself, i yell, "GET A DUNE!" oh i kill myself!

then we drove to santa cruz for dinner (and dessert!) and, who knows how this happened, we got on the subject of currencies pegged to the dollar (ex: Argentina) that still experience high inflation while the dollar stays relatively stable. exciting- i KNOW!

pun #2: even though i should be making really smart economic comments, all i can think of is "I know Argentinians! they're twins!" and my cousin (this is how i know we're related!) is like, "oh, you mean ArgenTWINians!"

TOUCHE, ELIZABETH! now i'm going to bed because i'm sandy and tired (the true signs of a perfect day). nighty night

teehee

there once was a girl from norcal
she was not exactly nor-mal
now she's on spring break
out to lunch you should her take
and then she will be your best pal


no... that one didn't quite work. oh well. i'm back home. fun fun fun.

ode to colin

what the heck, he doesn't read this blog anyhow. there is a guy, he is really in my writing class, he is really named colin, and he REALLY ROCKS! first off, he's not the guy in the class who relates everything back to bush and how horrible he is. he's not the frat guy who annoys me so much and creeps me out. oh no. he is wonderful. first off, he makes intelligent comments. which is always a plus. he debates, not argues. and his name is colin, that's a cool name. he also plays chess with the people at cafe 84 on wednesday nights! or at least, he did last night. and i now respect him on a much deeper level.

he's also into weight-lifting gym-ness... stuff... ok. i respect that. no i really do that's cool. the weight room scares me! i would only go in there if i were alone and wearing something to disguise my identity. anyhow, i was leaving the gym today and i saw him in the weight room. he was helping someone and what was he wearing, friends? some shirt, GREEN shorts! and... wait for it... high top black chucks. YOU ARE SO FREAKIN COOL, COLIN! i am amazed at your coolness! I can't believe i'm in a class with you!

i was on such a high from the CoolColin sighting that i decided to try a new smoothie at jamba juice (yes it truly was that great)! I got a mango mantra- soooo good! and colin from writing class- soooo awesome!!

night.

sugar on the asphalt

i love fashion magazines. but when i read them, I don't think, "what a gorgeous outfit! I have to go out and get it!" I think, "what a gorgeous outfit!" and end it there. I love fashion because I enjoy it from afar.

I love boys. but when I meet them, I don't think, "what a gorgeous [in all senses of the word] guy! i have to go out and get him! he will be mine!" I think, "what a wonderful guy!" and end it there. i don't crush. i ENJOY! i like it better that way, i can focus on good things and not have to worry about the bad things about a guy!


now, we ask: why is this?

#1: because i don't have the money the figure or the attitude to pull off higher fashion
#2: ... because a boyfriend is somehow out of my reach as well, so i just give up?


and herein lie the horrible conclusions you come to after a late night conversation with kate.

shouldn't i have a much easier and carefree life? i don't have the temptation to believe my life will be fulfilling and complete when i have a boyfriend! that is freedom! but i love other people, and i enjoy them in the least sexual/possessive sense of the word, and nobody enjoys me back. and i seek and relish the beauty in others, and there hasn't been any proof that there's any in me.



Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears... Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

[1 Corinthians 13: 8-13]

languid

i tire of blogging. i don't have interesting stuff to write about. or, i do, and i don't want to take the time to write.

so basically if you didn't go to the party last night you're gonna have to talk to someone else. i'm not typing it all here. plus, i had front door duty the entire time, so i wasn't in on the party aspect for the most part.

but yeah. this blogging thing... we'll see... hopefully funny things will start happening to me again so i'll have something (interesting) to write about. until then!


p.s. i am p.m.s.ing like a mofo. i want to kick somebody's ass then make out with them then cry then kick somebody else's ass. all within, oh, 15 minutes? yes please. all at once. i love being a girl.