this blog is getting serious action. but totally new subject
I went to the lab to work on my design project, worked for an hour and fixed nothing, and resubmitted it. oh well. I picked up the car keys from John outside his studio and was biking home when I passed Hahn Plaza (nobody knows it's called that, but it's the bit by Tommy Trojan, sort of like the crossroads of the USC campus) and there was a guy with a sign that said "God Abhors You" (so it spelled GAY down) and on the back was "For the wages of sin is death. Romans" whatever verse that is. so it said AIDS.
I stopped. because this is unacceptable. we talked for a while, I asked him "how can you say that?" and another girl came up. one of the AGO pledges was there, too. An old testament verse came up, I thought of this N.T. Wright quotation:
The lines between justice and unjustice, between things being right and things not being right, can't be drawn between "us" and "them." It runs right down through the middle of each one of us. (from Simply Christian)
and I told him it's also a sin to cause your brother to stumble, which he was doing pretty blatantly. It was fruitless, as expected. I get the feeling we were arguing about two different things. And I was really upset. I think maybe a year or two ago I might have gotten theology-upset, like, "oh you interpret it this way BUT-" and "it says this here HOWEVER-" and thought that our systematic theologies would fight and mine would win.
But this time I got so upset I started crying. Not because I was frustrated- which I was- or because the GAY and AIDS were written in huge red letters. I was upset because I know God. Not entirely and not fully and purely and perfectly like he knows me. And how can someone say this about my God that I love? In a wierd but not self-righteous way I was upset for God, that he reaches out and this guy takes it upon himself to push people away.
I thought about making my own sign about Jesus' love, but things were getting a little crazy and it could be taken the wrong way. Some other AGO guys came, this other guy was preaching/talking, an ADX girl was there. We prayed about it. I'm pretty sure God just got pushed out of the entire situation, and it became about sin.
This is what I wanted to say to him: THERE IS NO HOPE IN THE SINS OF YOU OR ME, OR ANYONE. There is no hope down that path, nothing worth saving. So why are you preaching about it?
A revulsion of sin can't save me, and neither can words or actions. The only thing that can save me is Jesus Christ. And if you hope to rid the world of homosexuality and sin, you better look to God, because he's the only place salvation is coming from. Point people to God, not their own sins. That's futile.
Futile sort of like any conversation with him... I'm still upset about it. But I don't care so much about his heart, even though I should. I care about the people he's hurting with his sign, I wanted them to know it's not true!! While we were still sinners Christ died for us (Romans) He did this so that we might reach out and touch him, even though he is not far from any one of us (Acts).
But I was reading Habakkuk yesterday night. It's a pretty short Old Testament book, I like reading those because I feel like I accomplished so much- a whole book of the bible!- even though it's like 4 chapters or something. And Habakkuk is pretty upset and he asks God why there's suffering, and he's like, "God why do I have to look at this?"
How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds. Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails. The wicked hem in the righteous, so that justice is perverted.
And God says
Look at the nations and watch- and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe even if you were told!
So I'm gonna go ahead and trust in God. As for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge, I will tell of all your deeds. (Psalm 73:28)
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6 comments:
"I was upset because I know God. Not entirely and not fully and purely and perfectly like he knows me. And how can someone say this about my God that I love?"
Don't you think everyone knows God in their own way, and so, in a way, everyone has their own God?
I applaud you for engaging the guy, and I'm sorry that, predictably, it ended in grief for you.
that's pretty cool of you.
i get opportunities like that sometimes, but almost never take them. =(
this is in reply to Bridget's comment.
knowing God in personal ways does not mean knowing a different God. It's actually pretty cool because in the old testament people didn't quite have the bible as it is today- God couldn't speak to them and they'd be like, "oh you're THAT god, ok cool yeah I've read theological commentary about you. that triune nature is pretty cool, and good job on the sunsets." so their names for God were sometimes personal, and when they refered to him they'd also say "God of Heaven and Earth" or something- you had to know God before you could tell other people about him, it's not like today where you just say 'God' and people have a hopefully-true concept of him.
for example, hagar calls him "the God who sees me" (Genesis 16) and when people are prophesying about Jesus Christ (and it's in lots of Christmas hymn-y songs) they say stuff like, "And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 9) which means that some people will receive advice from him, he will be mighty, to some he's a father, he gives other people peace. and some people he's all four. but he's always the same Jesus.
it's hard/impossible to understand or comprehend them all at the same time, but what I wrote was more to say, "we can argue all week and then some about homosexuality and theology and all that, but here's what I KNOW. I KNOW God, even if just a part of him, and I know his love has no limits and he isn't 'afraid' of gay people or afraid to love them."
so it didn't hurt like, "this argument is stressful!" it became, "this hurts for someone to slander God like this. this is not true."
wow. long-winded. but clearer?
lindy--how can you have that much passion about all this and BE ABLE TO WAIT? I'm with Habakkuk--for how long is God going to say wait? And isn't that a PROBLEM with believers, that they are able to just nod and say, okay god'll handle this, but when you look at what god says then, it's nothing essentially. and wait for what? judgment? more violence?? more judging others, but just "divine" this time? the same things we ask God to stop? how is this what you are okay with at the end of the day? i cannot find the refuge in that--or the hope.
#1: you don't have to tell me who you are, match, i'm just wondering who reads this blog.
#2: actually god does say some more stuff after that but it's situation-specific (he's going to use the babylonians to kills the nations that are opressing the israelites, i think. either way, habakkuk is satisfied with the response)
but anyhow, i think the issue is how can i care and not take action, yes? i want to make sure i'm responding to the right question. even thought this might go all over the place...
and i would say I am taking action.
In the end God calls us to glorify him and to become more like Jesus, so that he can use us when he wants to fulfill his purposes. so as long as God is satisfied, then I have peace. BUT (and this is important)- God loves social justice and he wants oppressed people to be free. I mean, he goes on in Isaiah 58 about how people think their fasting and sacrifices are making God happy and God is like, "no that's not what I want at all. you think you're so holy but you totally forget about people who are suffering. you think as long as you're taken care of you don't have to deal with others." and says: " If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness,and your night will become like the noonday."
I can rely on God to take care of it because I know that he will. And these big things, I would probably screw them up if I did them on my own (see also: if i'd made a sign yesterday, which I'm glad I didn't). But God cares about social justice and peace, and if i'm becoming more like him then he can use me more to take care of the wrong things that are going on.
for example: I feel like an older/wiser person could have really related to sign-man in a way that didn't make him just biblethump us with the old testament verse. God is making people who can constructively deal with sign-men (and women, though I've never seen one).
I can wait because I know my waiting and developing and understanding more of God's heart is not in vain. but I would also like to point out God's peace that transcends all understanding.
BUT
it's only fair to say that after talking to this guy and deciding i was in fact doing something about the problems in this world, i was like, "really? am i? how can people tell?"
i don't want it to seem like, "I want the world to be right, too, God. So i'm off the hook."
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