99 red balloons

this is what I feel like today (the paul rudd character).

the heart of life

so... true story about lindy's being a moron


[at a professor's office hours]
me: hi, I have a question about our 204 homework.
professor: ok
me: also, will we be getting our dynamics midterms back tomorrow?
professor: yes. you did well.
me: I thought so.


WHAT?? "I thought so"?! I am a total d-bag moron face. (now that I know joe happens upon my blog I can't use the d-word but you know what it is). I did actually think I did well, but to say it like that? I got it back today, with a 94/100, and whipped out my camera phone to take a picture of it and send it to my mom and dad. So, while I may be a doofus and apparently full of myself, I still get my gratification from my parents. I think I'll put it on the fridge for a while.

a french kiss

we have an invite in 3 weeks (less actually, but I try not to think about that). who should I take? I made a list of "people I would have fun with" and once I'd thought of one person (this took about 5 seconds) i gave up on the list, and the next day found out he's already been asked. and i have no more effort left to think of anyone else. meh. my design class is frustrating 5 times over, but joe's coming to visit this week! yay!

this old martin box

this blog is getting serious action. but totally new subject

I went to the lab to work on my design project, worked for an hour and fixed nothing, and resubmitted it. oh well. I picked up the car keys from John outside his studio and was biking home when I passed Hahn Plaza (nobody knows it's called that, but it's the bit by Tommy Trojan, sort of like the crossroads of the USC campus) and there was a guy with a sign that said "God Abhors You" (so it spelled GAY down) and on the back was "For the wages of sin is death. Romans" whatever verse that is. so it said AIDS.

I stopped. because this is unacceptable. we talked for a while, I asked him "how can you say that?" and another girl came up. one of the AGO pledges was there, too. An old testament verse came up, I thought of this N.T. Wright quotation:

The lines between justice and unjustice, between things being right and things not being right, can't be drawn between "us" and "them." It runs right down through the middle of each one of us. (from Simply Christian)

and I told him it's also a sin to cause your brother to stumble, which he was doing pretty blatantly. It was fruitless, as expected. I get the feeling we were arguing about two different things. And I was really upset. I think maybe a year or two ago I might have gotten theology-upset, like, "oh you interpret it this way BUT-" and "it says this here HOWEVER-" and thought that our systematic theologies would fight and mine would win.

But this time I got so upset I started crying. Not because I was frustrated- which I was- or because the GAY and AIDS were written in huge red letters. I was upset because I know God. Not entirely and not fully and purely and perfectly like he knows me. And how can someone say this about my God that I love? In a wierd but not self-righteous way I was upset for God, that he reaches out and this guy takes it upon himself to push people away.

I thought about making my own sign about Jesus' love, but things were getting a little crazy and it could be taken the wrong way. Some other AGO guys came, this other guy was preaching/talking, an ADX girl was there. We prayed about it. I'm pretty sure God just got pushed out of the entire situation, and it became about sin.

This is what I wanted to say to him: THERE IS NO HOPE IN THE SINS OF YOU OR ME, OR ANYONE. There is no hope down that path, nothing worth saving. So why are you preaching about it?

A revulsion of sin can't save me, and neither can words or actions. The only thing that can save me is Jesus Christ. And if you hope to rid the world of homosexuality and sin, you better look to God, because he's the only place salvation is coming from. Point people to God, not their own sins. That's futile.

Futile sort of like any conversation with him... I'm still upset about it. But I don't care so much about his heart, even though I should. I care about the people he's hurting with his sign, I wanted them to know it's not true!! While we were still sinners Christ died for us (Romans) He did this so that we might reach out and touch him, even though he is not far from any one of us (Acts).

But I was reading Habakkuk yesterday night. It's a pretty short Old Testament book, I like reading those because I feel like I accomplished so much- a whole book of the bible!- even though it's like 4 chapters or something. And Habakkuk is pretty upset and he asks God why there's suffering, and he's like, "God why do I have to look at this?"

How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds. Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails. The wicked hem in the righteous, so that justice is perverted.

And God says

Look at the nations and watch- and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe even if you were told!

So I'm gonna go ahead and trust in God. As for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge, I will tell of all your deeds. (Psalm 73:28)

chelsea dagger

they're gone! we hope!

last night she came over, we watched a movie and nit-picked. i found a few i'd missed, and she found my dandruff which I didn't realize I had. you learn something new every day!

usually on fridays niether of us has class, so we go on an adventure. sometimes this is taking the dash (only redeeming public transportation) downtown and go to the farmers market or something. or we take john's car and see a movie or something. it usually involves a target (or should!). we'll see. at least we caught them super early, and we're all good.

to do: celebrate, buy dandruff shampoo and a new hair brush (even though I really never use one), rejoice that I'm not a leprous 5-year-old anymore!

pumpkin carriage

today has been shiitake. minus the mushrooms. and the i-ake. get it?

skipped all of yesterday afternoon's classes, so I had to skip guitar today to go to a different lab. left halfway through after submitting and OUTRAGEOUSLY incorrect homework, but not caring about it. By the time I got back I could have gone to the last 20 minutes of guitar. decided against it. went to superior to get snacks for an adx thing tonight. I was set on peaches. there were no peaches. saw the clementines. went over to the clementines. they were grey/brown/splotches of orange. which is disgusting.

so i got the two things you can always find at a ghetto grocery story- banana pudding and nilla wafers. it doesn't make up for the train wreck that have been the last 27 or so hours, and I flip out everytime the wind blows but my hair isn't itchy and I think/hope I got them all. ugh. grosser than gross.

but on the upside i'm pretty sure I OWNED my dynamics midterm. shazam!

greater san jose metropolitan area

BUT SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS WHAT THE FECK. don't only 7 year olds get head lice? I have to like send a letter home with everyone in my classes- "your child may have been exposed to head lice" it is so EMBARASSING! but at the same time I also think it's a courtesy to tell people. because if brookin's hadn't told me I would have just thought I had itchy dandruff and then spread it further. plus bugs in hair- EW.

I thought it was like teen pregnancy- you avoid it when you're young, you avoid it forever! but lice strikes UNEXPECTED and certainly uncalled for and does not discriminate. I'm still upset, and afraid to lay my head down on anything. I also wish my mom was here to comb through my hair for 3 hours to make sure they're all gone. I'm afraid they'll hatch. Then organize. Then divide and conquer. but this gem did come out of the experience with the creme rinse.

"I am massaging my scalp in fear!"
"Me too! Out of sheer terror that they'll come back."

at least we went through it (are still going through it) together. someday when I'm a very intelligent scientist/engineer, I'm going to make a better treatment for head lice- specifically, for getting rid of it. like... what we do right now is tweezing. every nit individually. soon it'll be more like waxing. they're just all gone. a lice magnet. sweet. but also gross.

superstar

I'll post the whole story later (it's pretty long, and not over yet. we'll be nit-picking - literally - for the next week or so and I am totally paranoid) but anyhow, I made brooke put a bag over her head before she sat on the couch. then i shot a video with my camera, which I don't know how to rotate. so tilt your head and enjoy. lice makes us suicidal.

nit picking

hey guys. so... I was planning for this to be a funny AFTER THE FACT post but it's a courtesy to tell you now.

I have head lice.

I don't know where I got it, but my friend has it, too, so right now we're waiting for my roommate to come home so we can go out to a pharmacy and get the goods (shampoo, fine comb, etc.) and get rid of it. then we'll clean all our linens, wash the apartment, etc. etc.

But I'm letting you know because if you've hugged me (or somehow been near my head) in the past week or so, you ought to get yourself checked out. I don't know if any USC people read this but if you do- go to the health center! seriously. this blows.

anonymous friend: "but at least it wasn't pubic lice... right?"

blue and flame

so. true story about living in the ghetto.

I left my wallet in john's car last night after we got back (no I did not mean to). When I got in to my apartment (and after I realized the missing wallet), I also found that I had no food. correction: I had some cereal we'd bought at Trader Joe's in Pacific Grove for the drive down. I called John who said he'd bring the wallet in the afternoon when he came to campus.

In the morning I woke up, very hungry, with no food, and no money. BUT! I opened a St. Patrick's Day card from Katie who had also included $5 (grandparent move!) for me to get some delicious Chano's (amazing mexican food. we went when she visited and now she is hooked). Chano's? I think to myself, or breakfast? So I biked myself down to Superior (closer but dirtier grocery store), locked up Ophelia (aforementioned bike), and waltzed to the dairy section at the back.

Where, lo and behold, here were my options: 1) non-fat milk that expired yesterday 2) 2% milk that expired today 3) whole milk that expired some time in april. I must admit, I was torn. I could drink fat, or I could smell like old cheese all day. truly, a COMNUNDRUM (sorry I can't spell that word, but I really wanted to use it). I rummaged around and found some 1% that expired on Thursday, and took it to the checkout aisle, bought it, went home, and ate the cereal.

This is a true story about living in the ghetto, and the friend's donations that get me through.

beast of burden

so this is pathetic: i messed around with the html source for our web registration so I could get into the fall class schedules, which don't technically go out until tomorrow.

I used my sciency skills to get a head start on CLASS SCHEDULING. then emailed my advisor about tech electives. when do I get to register, you ask? oh, april 13th. a MONTH from yesterday. get excited. my nerdery reaches new unnecessary levels.

"New Shoes" (Paolo Nutini)

This song is truly amazing. Someday I will learn how to play it. then record it. and you'll get to see it. loves it.


Woke up cold one Tuesday,
I'm looking tired and feeling quite sick,
I felt like there was something missing in my day to day life,
So I quickly opened the wardrobe,
Pulled out some jeans and a t-shirt that seemed clean,
Topped it off with a pair of old shoes,
That were ripped around the seams,
And I thought these shoes just don't suit me.


Hey, I put some new shoes on, and suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on
And everybody's smiling, it's so inviting,
Oh, short on money, but long on time,
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,
And I'm running late, and I dont need an excuse,
'cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes.


Woke up late one Thursday,
And I'm seeing stars as I'm rubbing my eyes,
And I felt like there were two days missing,
As I focused all the time,
And I made my way to the kitchen,
But I had to stop from the shock of what I found,
A room full of all my friends dancing round and round,
And I thought hello new shoes,
Byebye them blues.


Hey, I put some new shoes on, and suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on
And everybody's smiling, it's so inviting,
Oh, short on money, but long on time,
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,
And I'm running late, and I dont need an excuse,
'cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes.


Take me wondering through these streets,
Where bright lights and angels meet,
Stone to stone they take me on,
I'm walking to the break of dawn.


Hey, I put some new shoes on, and suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on
And everybody's smiling, it's so inviting,
Oh, short on money, but long on time,
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,
And I'm running late, and I dont need an excuse,
'cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes.

consultation

FINALLY!!! all I had to do was post the embeded html! And all this time I was trying all these login things... well here it is. enjoy!

"First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes (from "I'm Wide Awake It's Morning")



what I meant to say before I had all the trouble uploading was that this song reminds me of my mom. especially the line "remember the time you drove all night / just to meet me in the morning." it's a love song, but not a romantic love song.

rosebud salve

ok earlier i liked technology. but now not so much. I'm trying to post a video of me and the song I learned for my guitar midterm but google video is more of a "mmmm NO" and won't 'validate my login information'. grrrr. i also haven't been able to upload pics to this thing lately. I don't know what's going on. I'll have to learn how to USE MY WORDS i guess.

charming

a tire commercial just told me that my tires can lose up to 1 pound of pressure per month. am I supposed to be shocked at the loss? or at the NONHOMGENEITY OF UNITS.