"Language or the Kiss" (Indigo Girls)

I don't know if it was real or in a dream
lately waking up I'm not sure where I've been
There was a table set for six and five were there
I stood outside and kept my eyes upon that empty chair

And there was steam on the windows from the kitchen
laughter like a language I once spoke with ease
and I'm made mute by the virtue of decision
I choose most of your life goes on without me

Oh the fear I've known
that I might reap the praise of strangers
and end up on my own
all I'd sown was a song
but maybe I was wrong

I said to you the one gift which I'd adore
unwrap a package of the next 10 years unfolding
but you told me if I had my way I'd be bored
right then I knew I loved you best born of your scolding

When we last talked we were lying on our backs
looking up at the sky through the ceiling
I used to lie like that alone out on the driveway
trying to read the greek upon the starts
the alphabet of feeling

Oh I knew back then
there was a calling that said if joy, then pain
the sound of the voice these years later
is still the same

I am alone in a hotel room tonight
I squeeze the sky out, but there's not a star appears
begin my studies with this paper and this pencil
and I'm working through the grammar of my fears

Mercy, what I won't give
to have the things that mean the most
not to mean the things I miss
unforgiving, the choice still is
the language or the kiss